How do you feel???

I took it really personally some years ago when a good friend went (who had christening cake number one from me three years previously) decided to get another decorator to do the second christening cake. She liked the first one but still went to another source to get number two. I have learnt over the years not to be soooooo sensitive!

I totally understand. I am learning not to take it as personal as well.

I don’t mind so much if it’s a child’s birthday or a less important birthday because special occasion cakes and cupcakes are expensive and I don’t expect my friends and family to shell out that sort of money if it’s their child’s second birthday or their 33rd. In that case Ihave no problem with them popping into the supermarket and picking one up or to the bakery for one of those easy to make photograph cakes. But when special occasions pop up, like milestone birthdays, Christenings and the like they do come to me because it’s then that they want a cake they’ll remember for the rest of their lives. x

I must confess I take personally, I always try to hide it, but it bothers me. Anyway I’m trying to change that about me, they are free to do whatever they want to. I’m so touchy!

I try not to let it bother me, but somewhere deep inside, it does. I had an occasion where someone very close to me called to ask if I was bringing a cake because she had already ordered one – NOW, THAT TAKES THE CAKE… no pun intended!

I also donate a cake a month to an institution and whenever they have a party, they order a cake from somewhere else. Go figure…

Oh, well, we can’t change people, but we can certainly change how we react to their insensitivity :)))

@ Funfetti- Wow… They willingly take the cakes you donate but go somewhere else to order cakes for an event?? Smh. LOVE the last line!

@ Conspira…- I’m the same way! But as I stated above, I’m learning to not take it so personally or not be so sensitive.

@ Lizzie-I love your stance on it. It seems as if you dont let it bother you.

Sometimes it gets to me because some people [friends or family] will want whatever I bake when its free, but if they have to pay, they either act as if they don’t want anything anymore or they go somewhere else. But as funfetti said "we can’t change people, but we can certainly change how we react to their insensitivity! :-)

Most of the time, I don’t mind at all. I completely understand not being able to spend a lot of money on a fancy cake all the time or needing something last minute, etc. But currently My best friend is getting married and she doesn’t want me to make her wedding cake. It honestly hurts my feelings.. I feel like she feels like I’m not good enough for her wedding.. I try not to think about it/let it bother me though. I know such is life and these things will happen.

Sometimes I think that people do not wish to mix business and pleasure. Some people find it really awkward to even think of paying a friend to do some work for them. And worry about what would happen if the order went wrong. Would this effect your friendship? (Not that it would of course, because we are all so capable…..:) but you know what I mean!!) We had a friend who was a plumber who was totally insulted because we went elsewhere for central heating – until my other half explained that he has a rule – never ever to ask friends to do work for him. Simply because he had too many experiences of work not being done correctly or bits missing and incomplete and therefore – this is now tricky to berate a friend, because the job is not correct. So he will not even start going there. So bear in mind there are people out there who think this way too. It simply is not personal, they perhaps are not good at communicating what they want in the first place and then worry if the order is not completed the way they want, and would rather argue with a stranger and not spoil a friendship! It definitely is not personal – rather the other persons way of looking at things!

It honestly doesn’t bother me when people go somewhere else; sometimes it’s actually a relief. You do wind up in that awkward “we’re friends, but this is business” kind of discussions. Don’t get me wrong, I have gifted lots of cakes (including wedding cakes), so I am a good friend. FYI, anytime I “gift” cake to someone, I let them pick and design the cake before I announce the gift. Sometimes people get ambitious when they know it won’t cost them anything. Holding off until the end allows me to decide on what I’m willing to “spend” for the gift. If you pick a $500 wedding cake – Congratulations, cake’s on me! If you pick out a super detailed $2000 wedding cake? Congratulations, I’m going to knock $500 off as my present to you!

It’s a bit weird if as you girls mentioned it’s a really special occasion and they don’t even check with us… but if it’s a regular birthday it’s ok. When it comes to price, its the same here- they always say it’s too expensive and cry over and over for the price to go down. When it comes to a free one,guess what?Then I’m the nice one…. =o/ Unfortunately in my place the artistic cakes aren’t that common and I’m struggling A LOT to get clients who are willing to pay for my cakes. That’s why I’m doing other things along with the cakes.