Dealing with overbearing MOBs during consultations

Forum: Cake Decorating Business

I really hate it when I meet with a bride and the mother thinks she’s the main focus of the wedding. I had a consult earlier today and I could tell from the get-go that the mother was trying her best to recreate “her” wedding day. I can handle overbearing people, but the poor bride couldn’t – every time I asked her a question, the Mom answered. Any idea the bride presented “I would like dots” immediately got shot down. All the cake photos the Mom brought were really bad 70’s type cakes. At one point the bride stood up and said “Just order what you want, I’ll be in the car”. It took me a good 5 minutes to convince her to come back in and continue the meeting. I finally rough sketched the ugly cake and then said “This is a beautiful cake, but it’s very old-fashioned. I would normally sell this type of cake to a much older bride, or someone getting married their second time”. When the bride asked if she could take the samples home for the groom to taste, Mom immediately popped back with, “Well, I suggest you give all the leftovers to your father – HE’S the one that’s paying for all of this!” I made two to-go boxes so the groom-to-be would at least get a little taste. Grrrrr!! :-(

The bride is always my “client” and signs all of the contracts, no matter who pays. I have suggested and allowed a bride to make changes after the payments have been finalized to allow them more say into their big day. I’m not sure this bride has the kind of mettle to do that.

What are some things you’ve done to help put the bride back in the driver’s seat and Mom in the back?

Tags: mob discussion contracts business consultation wedding bride

Jenniffer White, Cup a Dee Cakes - http://cupadeecakes.blogspot.com

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7 Replies

Toni (White Crafty Cakes) ...

What a great topic Jenniffer! I have only made one wedding cake so far, and only the bride was involved in the choice of the wedding cake. I feel so sad for that poor bride. Seems like her Mom is taking all of the joy out of one of the most special days of her life!

Cakemummy ...

Her mum sounds like a @(&$%#-*! That poor bride. I don’t generally do wedding cakes but when my daughter got married I left it to her to pick and choose exactly what she wanted, I only gave my opinion when asked. Maybe there should be a law against mothers of the bride participating in any organising of their daughter’s wedding. I like your idea of getting the bride back after payment to make any changes! :-)

Sugargourmande Lou ...

Oh poor thing !!! If that’s the for the cake, just imagine everything else she’s putting up with … Hope she was allowed to choose her hubby-to-be !!! I would say have a one-on-one with her – if by chance there are any elements from the mothers ideas that can be brought into the 21st century, then give a nod to them if she really is THAT bad, but otherwise I’d give the ‘bride’ some air space to say exactly what she’d like. Gosh I feel for you, but well done on keeping the peace as well as you did so far – Good luck and I hope it turns out to be a great day for HER ! xx

Beata Khoo ...

Sounds terrible ;(

June ("Clarky's Cakes") ...

I’ve done many wedding cakes, but all for family and close friends. In each case, including my daughter, brides made all the decisions. Mom’s weren’t even present at consult. On the one occasion when the Mom was going to be present, I emailed the bride that Mom was to sit in the background. That this was HER consult. I knew this Mom & Bride very well, and Mom tended to be a bit if a control freak.
In your instance, sad to say this bride has to develop a backbone because the wedding cake is the least of her worries. Sounds like her Mom has browbeat her for years. Hate to see the interference in her married life!! That being said, I agree with the post advising you to try and get the brides input sometime before the wedding. Funny twist isn’t it??……we usually here about Bridezilla…this time it’s Momzilla!!!!

Jenniffer White ...

I’ve had WAY more Momzillas than Bridezillas! I do try to limit the number of participants at a consultation to 3, but that can backfire too. I have had bride, MOB, and FOB show up and leave the groom at home because I only allowed 3 people. Some parents just have a “my money, my choice” mindset. At least once the consultation is over I can go back to dealing with the bride (usually), IF she picks me as her cake vendor. And IF I can talk her into telling me what SHE really wants.

And @Sugargourmande Lou, they were really bad cake pics… in fact, my first thought was “Where did you get these, Cakewrecks?”

June ("Clarky's Cakes") ...

Cake Wrecks…ha ha Jennifer. ..too funny. Times like this, glad I’m just a hobbyist. Actually my Mom was a little bit like this. She was a British war bride. Never had the dress & flowers. So she was living vicariously through me. I had to kindly speak to her. When she realized what she was doing, she apologized and backed off. ..