After many nights in the kitchen, feeling exactly as you so eloquently describe, and many days lost due to cake hangover, I do now charge adequately, ( makes me feel much less grumpy ) refuse last minute orders, ( unless it’s a great idea and I want to do it ) and I’m trying to space out what I do to avoid burn out. I always think about how long a cake would take and ask myself if that person would give similar time to me, for nothing. Would my stepdads daughter for example, drive me 500 miles to Scotland and back, taking 10 hours and a lot of patience and skill on the journey, for the price of the petrol? No, she would not. I shall not therefore make her a two tier cake which will take me just as long, stuck in the kitchen,using my skills, neglecting my own needs etc, for the price of the eggs and flour.
Good luck with it. I’m applauding your difficult “no”. Well done. X
